Blogs are Stupid

The 27 Worst Family Feud Answers Ever:

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.


Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.


(and for the dorks out there)

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Pic from the Daily Show via wonkette.com:

an email from john:
"…not to take a dump in japan. You HAVE to watch it all the way through…"

its always time to celebrate Google lovefest...heres a cnet list of top 10 google apps - to remind you all, how great google is

Top 10 Google Apps

(Google Maps shoulda been #2 or 3 though, it completely changed the way we look at and use online maps)

From Jo:

When immigrants want to become Americans, they must take a civics test as part of their naturalization interview before a Citizenship and Immigration Services officer. The questions are usually selected from a list of 100 sample questions (see at http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/services/natz/English.pdf ) that prospective citizens can look at ahead of the interview (though the examiner is not limited to those questions). Some are easy, some are not. We have picked some of the more difficult ones.
Should you be welcomed immediately to the Land of the Free or sent home for some more homework? Find out!


Do you have what it takes to be a citizen?

17/20 for me

( i def shoulda got 19.....oh well)

what'd you score?

Bill Simmons has been pretty hit or miss lately...actually I think now that hes back to writing 2 articles or so a week, he's a whole lot better. It used to be too much Simmons IMO....anyway, his latest column, which Kyle pointed out, is his best ever:

kyle (1:56:19 PM): at least simmons article is quality
me (1:56:25 PM): link
kyle (1:58:37 PM): http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060626
me (1:58:51 PM): YouTube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kyle (1:58:54 PM): you could basically do your blog for weeks
kyle (1:58:58 PM): based on this article
me (1:59:00 PM): yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah simmons
kyle (1:59:37 PM): im trying to pick one or two to put on my blog
me (2:00:04 PM): But YouTube ranks among the greatest Internet developments ever, right up there with iTunes, Napster, free porn and e-mails with "Vegas?" in the subject heading.
me (2:00:08 PM): this is the greatest article ever!
kyle (2:00:22 PM): figured you would like it


Bill Simmons: The YouTube Hall of Fame



My favorite of the ones he listed is one of the BEST MOMENETS in NBA HISTORY:

Awesome.. (from digg)

Black and White Twins

When Kylie Hodgson gave birth to twin daughters by caesarean section, she was just relieved that they had arrived safely.

It was only when the midwife handed them over for her to hold that she noticed the difference between them.

Remee, who weighed 5lb 15oz, was blonde and fair skinned. Her sister Kian, born a minute later weighing 6lb, was black.

From Ping -- awesome:

USB teddy bear holds data, scares children

After watching this on the Daily Show last night, I was sooo hoping to find it on YouTube so I could blog it...I didn't this morning, but wonkette.com did -- and their title for it is great:

Grand Theft Auto: Okay in Chevy Chase, But Not in Southeast

from "The Consumerist"

AOL Wants to Sell "Internet" to the Dead

This is low. Very, very low. AOL doesn't even care if your mom is a corpse. They still want to proposition her for access to the magical walled garden world of America Online. Perhaps she was just unhappy with the service? Perhaps we can just reduce the hours to make it softer on the ol' wallet?

No. She's dead. Mom is dead. They don't do AOL in heaven. Up there, they have free wireless broadband.

(if you've looked at my IM away message the past few days....)

"This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on earth!"

kyle (10:18:24 AM): you realized portugal and mexico are playing each other right now
me (10:19:17 AM): LOL!
kyle (10:19:26 AM): amazing
kyle (10:19:35 AM): the simpsons is so accurate

From Justin:

How Bush chose stupidity

Fast Forward to the conclusion:

As the president says, we misunderestimate him. He was not born stupid. He chose stupidity. Bush may look like a well-meaning dolt. On consideration, he's something far more dangerous: a dedicated fool.

(turn your volume down)

Latest slate.com bushism:

"I think—tide turning—see, as I remember—I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of—it's easy to see a tide turn—did I say those words?"—Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

StopBorat.com
We are a collectiv of common conscientious citizens of Kazakhstan who can't tolerate when someone puts mocking on us. We demand that everyone on the world takes us seriously and knows that we are serious peoples, like Uzbekistan.

ummm, Connie Chung did this in the last episode of her "Weekends with Maury & Connie" show on MSNBC that she does with her husband Maury Povich.....umm, wtf is wrong with her?



i love the sounds she makes as she struggles to get off the piano

From Brian (who we all hate):

RSDB.org --> The Racial Slur Database

ok this show does seem *really* stupid in retrospect if you look at this:

List of problems solved by MacGyver


With his friend dying of carbon monoxide poisoning, MacGyver breaks through his friend's apartment door by tying a fire hose to the door handle and an elevator handrail, then sending the elevator up. He cuts the fire hose with his swiss army knife, ties the nozzle end to the door, the other end to the hand rail, and lays the hose very flat against the ground so the elevator's doors won't close on it. When the elevator goes down, it pulls enough of the door with it that MacGyver can reach in and unlock the deadbolt and chain door lock. Unverified (can that knife cut that hose?) Approximate time: 5:30.

maybe I should use one with this:



Potty iPod holder puts relief on the playlist

GetDShirts.com - Dustin Diamond House Foreclosure - Mortgage Loan

I'm Dustin Diamond and you probably remember me from the hit TV show Saved By The Bell. After the show ended I decided to leave Sunny Cailfornia for the midwest. My shitty credit meant that getting a loan for a house would be tough. I began looking and finally purchsed one on a land contract. I was thrilled! Now I call Wisconsin my home.

....

I've designed a T-shirt for all of you to wear to show your support. All monies go towards Saving My House!

1. A $15.00 donation will get you a comfortable and stylish cotton T-Shirt telling the world you helped save my house.

2. A $20.00 donation will get you that same T-Shirt signed by me with my special message "Fuck Giraldo".

Autographed!

An ad for folgers coffee called Happy Mornings...



ummm, wtf?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Q I can take them off.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m interested in the shade look, seriously.

Q All right, I’ll keep it, then.

THE PRESIDENT: For the viewers, there’s no sun. (Laughter.)

Q I guess it depends on your perspective. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: Touche. (Laughter.)

yeah the reporter...legally blind

**update**

YouTube!

Right after I sign up for Flickr...oh well, I actually really like Flickr and a lot of you all seem to be using it....hmm, actually its around the same price as Flickr:

Storage: Each Picasa Web Albums account comes with 250MB of free storage space, or room to post and share approximately 1,000 wallpaper-sized photos (at 1600 pixels each). For $25.00 per year, users can get a subscription to an additional 6GB of storage – room to post and share approximately 25,000 photos.


Picassa Web Albums


Sample Gallery

Cancelling AOL


Recently, I decided that I could spend $14.95 a month in many better ways, and decided to cancel the AOL account. Knowing the horror stories, I decided to do the deed at work where I could record the whole thing. I knew it was going to be good, but I had no idea it would be the abusive disaster it was.



mp3 of dude trying to cancel his aol account

Quality Recording
"Cancel... the... account....!"
"cancel the account...cancel the account...cancel the account..."

J.J. ...you shouldn't drive drunk



J.J. Redick Arrested, Charged with DWI

update:
ohh heres a fuller/bigger pic :)


update 2:
quality quotes from deadspin.com comments:


Mug shot. Polo shirt. Half-popped collar.

Perfection.
--
Those zimas will f you up...
--
But was he wearing a helmet?
---
Damn, now you get a DUI after you graduate from Duke. Why oh why couldn't this have happened a year ealier so I could see what the Comcast Center would have looked like with everyone holding up his mug shot.

Borat
Cultural Learnings of America
for Make Benefit
Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan



(ok really, my next post wont be a youtube clip...really)

From Justin's profile awhile ago, I thought they took this down from YouTube, oh well:"

From Scott & Digg.com, this is pretty awesome. It's a high pitched sound that adults cant hear, but kids can. We played it at work and those of us under 30 definitely could make out the annoying high pitched sound, but my coworkers over 30 couldnt...very strange


A Ring Tone Meant to Fall on Def Ears - NY Times article

In that old battle of the wills between young people and their keepers, the young have found a new weapon that could change the balance of power on the cellphone front: a ring tone that many adults cannot hear.

In settings where cellphone use is forbidden — in class, for example — it is perfect for signaling the arrival of a text message without being detected by an elder of the species.

"When I heard about it I didn't believe it at first," said Donna Lewis, a technology teacher at the Trinity School in Manhattan. "But one of the kids gave me a copy, and I sent it to a colleague. She played it for her first graders. All of them could hear it, and neither she nor I could."

Here's the mp3 itself - play it for your older coworkers

YouTube Lovefest continues...
Olberman smacks down Ann Coulter

Seth McFarlane's Harvard Class Day Speech - Quality
it's in 4 parts

Part 1:


Part 2 Pete Griffin:


Part 3: Stewie:



Part 4: Quagmire:



yes, damn right, even more youtube lovefest

“White Progressive people fighting racism the only way they know how.”

(from screenhead.com)

taking a break from the YouTube lovefest:

Google Browser Sync:

Google Browser Sync for Firefox is an extension that continuously synchronizes your browser settings – including bookmarks, history, persistent cookies, and saved passwords – across your computers. It also allows you to restore open tabs and windows across different machines and browser sessions.

From Pete:



Pete [3:09 PM]: headphones needed just @ the end

From Dan Adams' away message:

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

From Sheila:

YouTube Lovefest continues

pretty cool

Friday, June 2nd, its's Free Donut Day.

At Krispy Kreme, you can get one free donut of your choice.

QUALITY recording of ESPN radio's Colin Cowherd going off on UVA Football

Colin Cowherd - UVA Football

Hilarious!


"Under soft in the dictionary, they have an image of a Cavalier logo"
"Want to know the most popular UVA tailgating drink? Zima!"

AOL e-mail delayed by software glitch

NEW YORK - Millions of AOL users encountered delays sending and receiving e-mail Thursday as the company worked to identify and fix a software glitch.

its fun to work without email...