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Thursday, August 05, 2004 

TWISM - Shaq's testimony

Reports surfaced this week that if the Kobe Bryant case goes to trial, Shaquille O'Neal could be called to testify about an alleged encounter Bryant had with a woman at a Thanksgiving party at O'Neal's home in Orlando in 2002. Of course, we can't be positive how O'Neal's testimony would play out, but we think it would go pretty much like this . . .

EASTER: I see. Did you notice if Mr. Bryant was drinking the night of your party?

O'NEAL: Oh, yeah -- definitely. I had made some Jell-O shots; and I noticed that after he went over to the bar, they were all gone.

EASTER: He took all the shots?

O'NEAL: Kobe always takes all the shots.

EASTER: How many do you think he took that night?

O'NEAL: That night, it was probably 30 or 35. It would have been better if he'd only taken 15 or 20 and passed the rest to me, but he just kept forcing the shots -- one after the other after the other after the other. Shot after shot after shot. On and on. It was so like him.


O'NEAL: The Big Prosecution Witness understands, Your Honor.

JUDGE: Seriously, knock it off.


JUDGE: Huh? Whatever. Ms. Easter, please continue with your witness.

The Blog

    My blog full of random crap.
    History/Stages of this blog:
    1. Completely random crap
    2. G-Dub is stupid...really stupid. why are you voting for him..seriously
    3. everyone sucks (for voting for G-Dub)
    4. Google Lovefest
    5. YouTube Lovefest
    6. The Wire Lovefest
    7. Wii Lovefest
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