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Thursday, December 30, 2004 

Childs Play

Donkey Kong is "lame." Tetris is "boring." Space Invaders "needs a superbomb or something." And why play Pong when it's more fun to "jump up and down on one foot"? Hey, save your irate letters--we didn't say this stuff. The nostalgia-nuking commentary is from EGM's November 2003 issue, in which we had kids of the PlayStation generation playtest classic games from the '70s and '80s. Mortified gaming grown-ups wrote in to call it blasphemy--and call these outspoken scamps a name that rhymes with "brittle truckers."

EGM Childs Play Focus Group Part 2

EGM: What do you think of [the first opponent] Glass Joe?

Bobby: Uh...he's white.

Anthony: He kinda looks like Barbie's Ken.

Dillon: I'm just pressing random buttons here....

Garret: That's probably how you beat the game.

Anthony: Why is Mario in this game? What does he have to do with anything? But it'd be cool if you can become Mario and jump on the guy's head and he dies.

Garret: "Mike Tyson" is bad publicity for this game.

And my favorite part from Part 1:

Handheld Football - Mattel • 1977
Everyone who grew up in the '70s owned one of these portable two-player pigskin sims, which used red LED lights to represent players.

Brian: What's this supposed to be?

EGM: Football. It's one of the first great portable games.

Brian: I thought it was Run Away From the Dots.

John: I don't see how this has anything remotely to do with football.

EGM: Which team are you playing?

Kirk: The red lines.

Tim: They could've just as easily called this game anything—Baseball, Bowling, Escape From the Monsters.

EGM: Did you score?

Kirk: I bumped into a dot.

The Blog

    My blog full of random crap.
    History/Stages of this blog:
    1. Completely random crap
    2. G-Dub is stupid...really stupid. why are you voting for him..seriously
    3. everyone sucks (for voting for G-Dub)
    4. Google Lovefest
    5. YouTube Lovefest
    6. The Wire Lovefest
    7. Wii Lovefest
    8. Sporadic Posts
    (with UMD sports stuff mixed in everywhere)


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