Center of Excellence
Today outgoing Homeland Security head Tom Ridge spoke at the University of Maryland, praising their new "Homeland Security Center of Excellence for Behavioral and Social Research on Terrorism and Counter-Terrorism." Clever of them to name it a "Center of Excellence," eh? No "Center of Near Excellence but with Occasional Typos." Also, by the time terrorists finish saying "Homeland Security Center of Excellence for Behavioral and Social Research on Terrorism and Counter-Terrorism," they will have forgotten why they were so angry in the first place.
We feel safer already, though if the towering might of our Excellence doesn't keep the terrorists at bay, Ridge suggested that anthropomorphized reptiles will for sure!
Plenty of people have reasons to "Fear the Turtle" - and it's about time the terrorists did, too. And that's because the Department of Homeland Security has selected the University of Maryland to be our fourth Center of Excellence to combat terrorism.Oh man, that was bad.