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Tuesday, November 16, 2004 

The Slate Guide to Managing Entourages

Pretty funny article about rappers & their entourages:

Since Slate is extraordinarily popular with the entourage-having-rapper demographic, we've compiled a list of entourage best practices: tips on how to make your entourage's violent impulses work for you.


Every rapper has an entourage. These days, even the entourages have entourages: Eminem's posse D12 is known to travel with a 40-man posse of its own. And even the most inoffensive, old-person-friendly rappers can have violent hangers-on. Will Smith's bodyguard allegedly punched a record promoter in the face in 1989, allegedly at the Fresh Prince's behest. (The charges were later dropped.) A few years later, three members of MC Hammer's posse claimed they were the victims of a drive-by shooting. Witnesses countered that it was yet another member of the 35-man entourage who actually pulled the trigger

Entourages can vary wildly in shape, size, and composition, but must include at least one driver, several bodyguards, and a few lesser-known rappers. Hammer's three wounded associates—a bodyguard, a member of a backing group called the Homeboy Choir, and a representative of tour sponsor Kentucky Fried Chicken—are a good representative group. Women (Lil' Kim, and to a lesser extent Foxy Brown) sometimes have entourages, but cannot be in an entourage. Sorry, ladies.

Natural light tends to have a calming effect on the entourage, which can become agitated and restless at night. After the lights go out, it's best to keep your posse away from concerts, nightclubs, recording studios, and award shows—especially award shows—if you want to have a quiet evening. Angry entourages are frequently spotted near limousines and SUVs, but it is unclear whether the vehicles themselves are responsible for entourage rage, since entourages are rarely found in other automotive habitats.

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