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Thursday, April 13, 2006 

McSweeney: Snakes on a Plane

POSSIBLE "SURPRISE" ENDINGS TO THE NEW SAMUEL L. JACKSON FILM SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Scenario Two

After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes.


AN ART-HISTORY PROFESSOR EXPLAINS TO HIS 4-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WHY THE FAIR MARKET VALUE OF HER PICTURE IS ACTUALLY FAR LESS THAN THAT OF A THOUSAND WORDS.

You chose to work with a blue Crayola crayon, and I respect that. You've been using a lot of blues lately, and I think you're on to something. It's a good idea to work out some themes and learn some techniques by limiting your palette. Nevertheless, your picture feels incomplete to me. Formwise, it's a staticky blue cloud hovering in space. There's nothing dynamic about it. You didn't even push down on the crayon very hard, so there isn't really any depth of color. There isn't a single interesting line, and the negative space, though overwhelming, seems to have been completely ignored. This image evokes nothing in me. I can't even call it ugly. It's just so-so. Honestly, I'm amazed I've even been able to say this much about it.

The Blog

    My blog full of random crap.
    History/Stages of this blog:
    1. Completely random crap
    2. G-Dub is stupid...really stupid. why are you voting for him..seriously
    3. everyone sucks (for voting for G-Dub)
    4. Google Lovefest
    5. YouTube Lovefest
    6. The Wire Lovefest
    7. Wii Lovefest
    8. Sporadic Posts
    (with UMD sports stuff mixed in everywhere)

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