Blogs are Stupid

Thank you Adam Rowe for this quality video.
From the description on YouTube:

This is a promotional video for a rather questionable super soaker called the "oozinator." One really has to wonder what they were thinking when they made this!!

Steve Colbert @ the White House Correspondents Dinner

Part 1:
This is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Correspondents Dinner. He satirically lambastes the Bush administration and Washington Culture in front of Bush himself as well as big time Washington power players.




Part 2:
The second part of Colbert's brilliant performance at the White House Correspondent's Dinner including his short audition tape to be Scott McLellan's successor.

From Dan Adams' away message...

Average Homeboy

I don't even know what to say

"For my enjoyment, I like to play hoops
but not before I eat, all my fruit loops"

Baltimore Sun Article about the Best Movie Ever.

"I Hate Jeffrey Maier"



"Deep down, he knew [the movie] was sort of ridiculous," she said. "It's about a boy - an Orioles fan - who watches 'the Maier game' and gets so upset he quits his Little League team. Ten years later, he goes off to college, finds Maier there and decides to get back at him."

For four years, the film's protagonist retaliates in trifling ways. Seeing Maier in the campus library, he hurls his pen, which glances harmlessly off the player's back. On bathroom walls, he scrawls, "I Hate Jeffrey Maier." At baseball practice, he manages to steal Maier's glove and throw it off a nearby bridge.

Be sure to watch the video clip (upper right of page)

This is ridiculously awesome (from digg.com)

"Do you want to smell like me?"




(from WizzNutzz - which is becoming one of my favorite blogs)


oh and for the hell of it:



for the hell of it part 2:
"oh my god, its steve blake!"

Oh Lebron's new Witness commercial from Nike? Yeah its cool, but:
Wizards 89 Cavs 84

Gilbert
WizzNutzz

I missed this on saturday, but heard it was funny...from wizznutzz.com (a great wizards blog) is Gilbert Arenas announcing the Wizards starting lineup:




Brendan "I love my Momma" Haywood

(from Rowe - & actually pretty old, but who cares)

In the fight of GOOD v GOOD
who will win?

http://www.jackbauervschucknorris.com/

For sale: Dwight Schrute Bobblehead


“It's me! I'm the bobblehead! Yes!”

McSweeney's
SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S REPLACEMENT:
AOL INSTANT MESSENGER BOT SMARTERCHILD.


DAVID GREGORY (NBC): Will Donald Rumsfeld resign in the face of the recent criticism by several retired generals?

SMARTERCHILD: Maybe ... What do you think? Will Donald Rumsfeld resign in the face of criticism from several retired generals?

DAVID GREGORY (NBC): I'm an objective journalist; my opinions don't matter.

SMARTERCHILD: Are you happy to be an objective journalist your opinions don't matter, or would you rather be something else?

............


DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Will the president fire him?

SMARTERCHILD: That's interesting. Perhaps ... I don't know, though ...

HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Have you consulted the Pentagon?

SMARTERCHILD: Consulted the Pentagon? No way am I going to do that.

HELEN THOMAS (Hearst Newspapers): Is the use of tactical nuclear weapons on the table for Iran?

SMARTERCHILD: Is the use of tactical nuclear weapons? Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.

DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): So President Bush will use nuclear weapons?

SMARTERCHILD: So what?

DAN FROOMKIN (Washington Post): Isn't that drastic?

SMARTERCHILD: Isn't that drastic? Wow, that's fascinating. Maybe.

Soooo random, but very entertaining



(from Colin. S and then later Niyi)

I seriously think me and my coworkers watched this at least 10 times (prolly 20).

The San Pedro (Ambergris Caye, Belize) Sun



update:
(i was gonna crop it out, but really, the sausage factory ad underneath is what makes the picture)


update 2:
my sister's comment:
"Must be good to know that at your old age of 26... you can still pull off the whole "student on spring break" thing.

Your younger sister,
Stephie"

Quality Snakes on a Plane Blog (Snakes on a Blog) courtesy of Dan Adamss.

Two great links from it:

Snakes on a Stick Death
Snakes on a plane trailer

Yeah I completely got this from deadspin.com but had to post it anyway. Apparently this came out in '91, which means that at the age of 11 - I made it a point to watch it....man, I was a stupid kid. (though I do remember being incredibly disappointed in it).

Found this article from del.icio.us/popular (which i check often)...

Rolling Stone: The Worst President In History?

George W. Bush's presidency appears headed for colossal historical disgrace. Barring a cataclysmic event on the order of the terrorist attacks of September 11th, after which the public might rally around the White House once again, there seems to be little the administration can do to avoid being ranked on the lowest tier of U.S. presidents. And that may be the best-case scenario. Many historians are now wondering whether Bush, in fact, will be remembered as the very worst president in all of American history.


I haven't even had time to read all of it yet (I have risk moves to ponder you know) but just throwing this article out there.


(hmmm i do i love this particular line though)
He has not only stumbled badly in every one of these key areas, he has also displayed a weakness common among the greatest presidential failures -- an unswerving adherence to a simplistic ideology that abjures deviation from dogma as heresy, thus preventing any pragmatic adjustment to changing realities. Repeatedly, Bush has undone himself, a failing revealed in each major area of presidential performance.

(from Dan Adams' away message)

Pop v Soda


For the record, the correct answer is "Soda", though "Coke" is fine too, but never "Pop".

Yeah...they should totally sign agents:


DJ Strawberry, Ekene Ibekwe Testing the Waters

A source close to the situation informed DraftExpress today that two Maryland juniors, 6-5 guard D.J. Strawberry and 6-9 power forward Ekene Ibekwe, will both be announcing soon that they are entering the NBA draft.

Really though I understand it, they have nothing to lose. They know they aren't going to be drafted, so they can have GMs tell them exactly why they suck, though:


McCoy (1:40:03 PM): yeah but its so they can figure out what they need to improve on
kyle (1:40:55 PM): everything
kyle (1:41:22 PM): dj strawberry cant play any position in the nba
kyle (1:41:31 PM): hes an undersized shooting guard who cant shoot
kyle (1:41:34 PM): and doesnt drive well
McCoy (1:44:26 PM): yes, i think we could all provide dj with a good detailed analysis of why he sucks
kyle (1:44:42 PM): correct
kyle (1:44:46 PM): he doesnt need to enter the draft
kyle (1:44:51 PM): to have that told him
kyle (1:45:01 PM): work on helping md win a couple more games over the summer
kyle (1:45:06 PM): not an nba pipe dream

I just bought this game for my Nintendo DS:



yeah...im a dork

Quality Random Article:

Baseball Players Do the Darnest Things

So I started to look around to see what some baseball players do. The lengths to which some ball players will go to manipulate their fate is amazing.

+John Smoltz, who once was doing jumping jacks in the clubhouse during an Atlanta Braves rally,was afraid to stop because he didn’t want to be held responsible for the end of the Braves’ scoring. He ended up doing jumping jacks for nearly half an hour.

but the best part is about some dude named Kevin Rhomberg (read the article for more about him):

His superstition was the need to touch back someone who had just touched him. Like tag during recess in grade school. However doing it when you’re an adult makes you strange. The need to touch someone back was so necessary that if a person somehow eluded his return touch, Rhomberg would send a letter that said, “This constitutes a touch.”

CLASSIC Kwame Brown article.
(This is one of my favorite articles of all time...ok, maybe its just my favorite Wizards/Bullets article of all time, but still)

It's ALWAYS good for a re-read:

Growing Pains
Kwame Brown's Unsentimental Education

My favorite parts:

* There was the time they discovered that he was eating Popeyes fried chicken for every meal, including breakfast, because he didn't really know how to grocery-shop. The sports management firm that represents Brown, SFX, assigned Richard J. Lopez, a 36-year-old business manager, to shepherd him. Lopez found that he essentially became a parent.

* Lopez knew Brown had a closet full of new suits – he had helped hang them there. "Kwame," he explained, "you have to take those suits to the dry cleaners." That was fine, Brown said, but he didn't know how to do that, and he still didn't have anything to wear.

Lopez drove over to Brown's apartment, and found the suits in a heap by the bed. Each time Brown wore one, he would take it off, wad it up and throw it in a corner.

* Finally, the condo was empty, except for Brown and Lopez. Brown looked at his manager. "Are you going to stay over?" he asked tentatively. Lopez, stunned, realized Brown had never spent the night alone before. Lopez took off his shoes.


GREATEST ARTICLE EVER

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"



(from screenhead.com)

flashbag



The size of the device changes depending on the amount of data it holds.

When the device is about to blow up you will see the familiar error message on your screen: "There is not enough free space".

When swithched off the flashbag remains pumped up, so you can estimate with the naked eye how much more pics, books and music albums can be transferred into it.

POSSIBLE "SURPRISE" ENDINGS TO THE NEW SAMUEL L. JACKSON FILM SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Scenario Two

After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes.

AN ART-HISTORY PROFESSOR EXPLAINS TO HIS 4-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WHY THE FAIR MARKET VALUE OF HER PICTURE IS ACTUALLY FAR LESS THAN THAT OF A THOUSAND WORDS.

You chose to work with a blue Crayola crayon, and I respect that. You've been using a lot of blues lately, and I think you're on to something. It's a good idea to work out some themes and learn some techniques by limiting your palette. Nevertheless, your picture feels incomplete to me. Formwise, it's a staticky blue cloud hovering in space. There's nothing dynamic about it. You didn't even push down on the crayon very hard, so there isn't really any depth of color. There isn't a single interesting line, and the negative space, though overwhelming, seems to have been completely ignored. This image evokes nothing in me. I can't even call it ugly. It's just so-so. Honestly, I'm amazed I've even been able to say this much about it.

New cool thing from Google - Google Calendar - *very* useful in my opinion - integrates into gmail and all

lots of cool features which ill point out tomorrow:

rowe (12:49:42 AM): they can SMS text you your agenda for every day
rowe (12:49:47 AM): ridiuclous things

you can share and add other peoples calendars etc etc

definitely also an evite replacement

The video description says it best:

"Inventor" Klee Irwin shares his reaction to seeing his 4-year-old daughter's poop for the first time and the inadequacy he felt after.



(yeah i know this is turning into a YouTube Blog)

Money Magazine's Best Jobs in America..

MONEY Magazine and Salary.com researched hundreds of jobs, considering their growth, pay, stress-levels and other factors. These careers ranked highest.

and #1 is........Software Engineer?????

the last minute and overtime of the championship game edited down to 4 minutes

Here's video of Cheney being booed during the first pitch he threw out for the nats today. I love how fox news completely ignores the boos. (you can hear it best during the last 15 seconds or so, fox muted the crowd noise in the middle)

(from thinkprogress.org)

**Update**:
of course its made its way to YouTube now...

Sheel (9:35:27 AM): have you seen the gi joe videos?
Me (9:35:40 AM): nope
Sheel (9:35:54 AM): youtube search -> gi joe
Sheel (9:36:04 AM): you will crack your ass off
Me (9:40:15 AM): lol, you know ive seen this before, quality
Sheel (9:40:34 AM): yeah fuckin hilarious
Me (9:40:51 AM): well i saw the fire one, not these other ones
Sheel (9:41:00 AM): the best one is this one
Sheel (9:41:16 AM): http://www3.youtube.com/watch?v=UmGAYXehkcU&search=gi%20joe
Sheel (9:41:19 AM): carnival
Me (9:42:37 AM): haha wtf
Sheel (9:42:43 AM): hahahhahahaaa
Sheel (9:43:33 AM): http://www3.youtube.com/watch?v=zOgn65Dh9Zo&search=gi%20joe
Sheel (9:43:36 AM): that's fuckin hilarious too
Me (9:46:24 AM): ahha why am i watching this
Sheel (9:47:12 AM): cause it's awsaome
Me (9:51:03 AM): i think im just gonna copy and paste this conversation for a blog post
Sheel (9:51:14 AM): awesome

This is both awesome and incredibly gross:

Anaconda Regurgitates a Hippo

(from screenhead)

(From Scott Wilson)




and because it never gets old (for me)

"Try my Mr T.....tea...."
Short clip of South Park making fun of Family Guy


Family Guy on South Park

Staring Shawn Bradley


(from deadspin.com)

Feds try to seize suspects' fancy teeth




TACOMA, Washington (AP) -- Talk about taking a bite out of crime...

Government lawyers tried to remove and confiscate the gold dental work known as "grills" or "grillz" from the mouths of two men facing drug charges.

(From Kyle)
kyle(1:00:53 PM): http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/07/gold.teeth.ap/index.html
me (1:03:45 PM): hahahah
kyle(1:04:04 PM): thats blog worthy
me (1:04:16 PM): i gotta include the pic also
kyl (1:05:11 PM): yes
kyl (1:05:13 PM): hilarious
kyl (1:05:16 PM): juicy j

So funny...only 2 bids?

(from Justin)


Desert pinup ogled by Google Earth


Maxim magazine celebrated its 100th issue by building a 75-by-110-foot billboard featuring its cover image of Eva Longoria, billed as "TV's Sexiest Earthling." The billboard doesn't tower over a highway, however. It's flat on the ground so that it can be seen from a satellite and posted on Google Earth.

snubster:

Wired.com description (Antisocial networking gets hip):
Online social networks are usually all about bringing together people who like the same things.

The founder of a new anti-social networking site, however, is finding that shared hates can be an equally effective bonding tool.

Software engineer Bryant Choung intended to satirize social discovery services when he launched his beta site, Snubster, last month. The site lets members create public lists of people and things that rankle them.


From snubster:

the snubster difference
Aren't you tired of all of those people out there trying to grab all of these fake friends online? It's all about how many people can I pretend to be friends with to make myself feel better. Welcome to a better way at snubster.

Lists
These lists can contain items or people. If you choose people, supply an email address to identify the person. The email address will remain private, but we'll send them an email letting them know that they're either on notice or that they are now dead to you.

On Notice
Things go on this list first. You can specify how long something is on notice. If there are no more infractions in this time period, they'll automatically come off the list. Otherwise you can move them to your Dead to Me List

Dead to Me
Put things on your dead to me list when you'd like them on there permanently. They'll only come off your list if you manually remove them.

Congrats Maryland Women!!!!!!!





(from umterps.com)

Maryland trailed by as many as 13 points in the second half, but then started to rally. After tying the game at the 6:15 mark, Duke took the lead back into the closing minute. Kristi Toliver's three-pointer with six seconds remaining tied the game at 70 and sent it to overtime. Toliver hit two free throws with 34 seconds left to give Maryland the lead. Marissa Coleman hit two more free throws to give the Terps a 78-75 lead. Maryland held true to its motto: "Overtime is our time!" The Terps finish the season with a 6-0 record in overtime games. Maryland tied USC in 1988 for the second largest deficit overcome in the national championship game.


ESPN:
Shell Shocked:
Overtime is Terrapin time. And now, paint Maryland a title town. Kristi Toliver's icy 3 forced OT, where the Terps stayed perfect this year and beat Duke 78-75 on Tuesday for their first women's hoops title.


CNNSI:
Turtle Power:
Overtime belongs to Maryland. So does the NCAA championship. The Terps overcame a 10-point halftime deficit to beat Duke 78-75.



CBS Sportsline:
Terp'n Time:
Maryland sure knows how to make history. The Lady Terrapins beat Duke 78-75 to win their first national championship after erasing a 13-point deficit. Kristi Toliver's 3-pointer and clutch FTs are the difference.

Woo hoo Southwest to fly outa Dulles

Southwest Expands to Dulles

Southwest Airlines -- the nation's biggest low-cost carrier -- plans to begin service out of Washington Dulles International Airport this fall, the airline said today.

because YouTube Rules

Family Guy - Sauron




Chef acts strange on South Park

quality public service announcements from the cast of The Office (the american version)

America Online changes name to AOL

DULLES, Va. - Time Warner Inc.'s Internet division, America Online Inc., said Monday it has renamed itself as AOL.

Trailer for the 2007 Simpsons Movie

This is kinda cool

A list of all the April Fools Day things on the web

My favorites include:
- Google Romance
- Slashdot
- Think Geek

umm, wtf?



The amateur sketch was crucial....

(I totally stole this from DJ Groovy Slug Spins...)

McSweeney's:
POSSIBLE "SURPRISE" ENDINGS TO THE NEW SAMUEL L. JACKSON FILM SNAKES ON A PLANE

Scenario Two

After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes.

(oh and a bonus post)

AN ART-HISTORY PROFESSOR EXPLAINS TO HIS 4-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WHY THE FAIR MARKET VALUE OF HER PICTURE IS ACTUALLY FAR LESS THAN THAT OF A THOUSAND WORDS.

You chose to work with a blue Crayola crayon, and I respect that. You've been using a lot of blues lately, and I think you're on to something. It's a good idea to work out some themes and learn some techniques by limiting your palette. Nevertheless, your picture feels incomplete to me. Formwise, it's a staticky blue cloud hovering in space. There's nothing dynamic about it. You didn't even push down on the crayon very hard, so there isn't really any depth of color. There isn't a single interesting line, and the negative space, though overwhelming, seems to have been completely ignored. This image evokes nothing in me. I can't even call it ugly. It's just so-so. Honestly, I'm amazed I've even been able to say this much about it.